tOm@kO's life ~*_*~

have a bad dream when i wake up this morning
dream that something about joo and me.
weird dream.. and i terus wake up already.

then realised it was already 8am.
nobody wake me up to go to college to study?
huh? how come?
where is my dad?
huh? today is not sunday wor?
how come i'm still at home at this hour?

ha...
just realised that my dad told me last week he will pick his boss worker dunno go where.
he will pick me up later.
erm...
luckily. i remember.
usually when you feel yourself waking up at the wrong side of the bed, you would feel very very blur and sometimes you might wanna scold poeple.
and you have to have very very good EQ management to avoid yourself scolding poeple gua..:P

sometimes i wonder how a gal choose her bf.
is it you have to choose a guy who got car,
and have a good job,
and will give you all those very very expensive gift.
and when he go outing with you, you would have to go places which is very very expensive, and you consider it as high class such as?
k*m g*ry? or even v*ctor*a st*t*on?

wonder how gals would have four eyes when they find the boy friend.
erm maybe is i have too much tought in this lovely nite.

sometimes i wonder about a gal's spending habbit.
on clothes... which is branded... you can use about a thousand just for shopping?
and you tell me you cannot support original books and music?

maybe i have very very bad spending habbit as well.
but i think the way i spending and save the money would be quite different gua...
dunno.
just feel that if i do not agreed with your attitude...
i might not be able share my toughts with you gua.
i dun like poeple who dun care about others' feeling but
they would definately 100% want you to take care of their feelings
and they would have you around like you must help them...

sorry having too much emotion before exam...
remembering got scolded by the someone just because i told him the truth
and how i feel about things.
just do not like people complaining about my attitude.
you can complaint that i'm a lazy person, dirty bug, naughty person or even an evil person.
but please please do not complaint to me that my attitude got problem.
i think i will burst that very moment.
cos i think i would always have a possitive attitude towards life and everything that i would encounter.
but if you told me that my attitude got problem does it means that possitive attitude is wrong?

do really think i'm very very very and extremely straight person.
and like to shoot people. especially those who are closed to me.
haha (sorry to those who are closed to me. you have to get sometimes to prevent being hurt badly by me)
but never mind, i would also invite you to shoot me.
dun really care that much whether it hurts a lot or not.

feel very very bad cos sometimes that things that you like hurt you the deepest.

sometimes is the friend that you trust hurt you the deepest.
heart breaking... why? cos already patah hati and putus asa d.

sometimes is the subject you favour the most, you did it badly
very very badly.

sometimes mayb things that you do not like would help you on the road.
sometimes is good to be neutral and not bias.

keep an open mind for everythings that is going to come
prepare to accept things that is going to come with open arms.

things are gonna be...
to be... will be...

one more week and seems that i did not touch much on 3.6
do hope miricle would happen.
haha
wonder how would it happen.
still sticking myself with the computer and the tv.
do not want myself to sleep too much
just tell myself i would have all the time in the world that i could have to do the things that i like.
i really wonder about it.

i should really motivate myself.
never give up...
acca exam starting 2moro.
but mine is one more week to go.
do hope that i would not panic at the last moment.

one more week. not consider very long.
however,
i would help much if i used it wisely.
do pray for myself, my friends and all my coursemate.
all the best in the exam.

always wonder whether taking a post of printing manager for the course is a correct decision.
always wonder why should i take the post?
from the very first day of the course committee election,
the senior was like saying gals cannot be printing manager since i have no transport and also printing manager would be a very very hectic job for a gal.
and after this two years,
i can proved this saying is rubbish and it also contains some kind of sex discrimination.
remembering the impression on nicholas's face.
saying he do not wanna take the post of course rep.
and he wanna be the printing manager of the course.
and i was scared and worried cos.. last time i would always critic my course's printing manager.
and i was suprised that he actually compromised that the would be the course rep.
remember people telling me that if you do not wanna hold the post there is a lot of other poeple wanted to hold the post.
remembering changing supplier without telling my x-course rep (nick) anything about it.
remembering that he was very very action.... and wanted to go agaist me.
and remembering that he eventually din able to come into our course since his cgpa din acheived the course entry requirement that year.
remembering that nobody wanna become the course rep of the course.
remembering everyone complaining about the course rep not doing anything.
remembering course rep and treasurer complaining me about my attitude to my friend the assistant course rep.
remembering i do not need their (course rep, assistant course rep and treasurer )help but i really been help by all the class rep a lot and a lot.
remembering miss chin ask me not to put too much effort on the course matter.
remembering miss karen told me that my over all paper was quite good.
remembering the concern on the lecture's face.
remembering my life in tar college as a printing manager in two years of my advanced diploma.

just received my result today...
a very every unbelievable result for myself
cant imagine...
get so unbelievable result
and actually i got an B for my finance and ...
the paper actually i got an C for one subject...
and the one and only C for my exam.
i see already i also think it is very very unbelievable.

so if you are interested is knowing wat the subject is please guess...
and i'll tell u trough msn or e-mail u...
cos i'm reli reli shy to disclose it here...:P

khai nien eileen... me and ker tying wit our lovely flowers..... 

eileen and me... oops my hair is messy d....haha 

khai nien and eileen.... graduating wit their beautiful flower..... 

today is my bf's convo....
hehe...
can't belive it that he actually graduated earlier than me (practically)
he is always the one who is very very lucky.
why?
he always tend to fail his exam...
and tends to make it during the final resit.
what a lucky guy.

annother friend of mine...
hui ling she also going to graduate today...
and she is going to fly to uk to shefield by 17 may if i'm not mistaken.

and many tough not much graduated.
in the graduation list there were about 196 people who completed and graduate from the course.
and this figure is about 70% of the population in the course of 285 poeple.
and out of this 196 people only 4 poeple got distinction and also 69 poeple got merit for their graduation.

erm... i'm one of the people who graduated... so happy...
and yesterday i met miss ng...
she was like trying to tell me wat is my grade for her paper.
erm... maybe a B? i think that's all i can get gua...
cos eventought i did not do badly on her paper.
but i feel that there are things which i did not do well enough to get an A

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

======================================
this song have a very very special meaning for me and a friend.
i'm not sure whether the person will still remember this song?
just wanna listen to this song again and again and again...

just close my eyes and listen to it every time.
brings me a lot of satisfaction.

today when i wake up my the flesh beside my tooth was in deep pain....
cannot describe the feeling but it does affect my emotion.
maybe too many spicy food lately.
damn...
it is like a pain in the ass...

it is really painful and i think the flesh is going to cover my wisdom tooth someday.
my god...
tired...
wanna cry already...
cham liao la...
how to continue to study?
and exam is coming soon again.....

today the graduate list was out on the board.
then i was worried and i went to look at the board.
haha... i've got merit for my exam wor....
not passed saje...
but merit wor...
erm... my c are not so strong this time i think
thank god again...
what a good news for me.
at least not the last one from the course being called on to the stage....
'sia sui' and 'lak sei' saje...

always think that i did not did my best
or i've did my best but my best was not good enough?

do not wish to be a distinction student but just do not want my parents to be 'lak sei' la...
at least i already proven to myself i did my level best to get what i need lur.

so now... focus on the dream of acca lur...
suddenly see other poeple graduate earlier than me...
also taking acca.
erm...
should i be crying?
erm... i do think if i really work hard enough...
i could realise my dreams.

sometimes i think it is very cruel that people are resiting and they wanted to graduate and the lecture do not want/intend to help the students.

mayb they left only this paper to graduated?

one of my friend have not failed the internal exam before,
and this semester he failed the final three paper.
and he have to sit for all five paper....
including external acca 2 option paper and
internal resit 3 core paper.

i think it would be a big burden to them since they are given little time to prepare for the subject.
i think lectures do want to help us pass.
but i do not understand why some lecture refuse to do so?

erm... to protect their good name?
or they do not want to be liable about the things they say?

i feel weird sometimes.....
cos when a lecture give guidance/hints before the exam...
after the exam there would be a lot of noice complaining about the lecture giving tips to the student....
aren't giving tips to the student one of the motif before exam?
then... why after exam already... the students want to complaint about the lecture giving tips to them?

lecture are just normal human being...
they also wanna protect their reputation and they wanted to secure their job.
since they already being kind hearted to give tips,
why dont you just listen,
and whether you wanted to accept or not...
it's all up to you.
and they are also not liable to the accuracy of the tips.
since you are liable for your own behaviour.

if you knoe the tips,
just share it with your friends,
and keep quiet after that lur...

erm... i do really pity....
because lecture do really suffer ethical dialema since they already setting the question and they have to spread something out to ensure that most of the student passed the exam.

today is the first day of orientation in tarcollege.
saw the fresheee's t-shirt...
'proud to be tarcian'
i think i would reluctant to wear the t-shirt after finished the orientation gua?
haha....

today the library have a very very long queue.
all of them applying for the id card.
and the procedure for applying the id card was quite 'ma fan'
have to go here and there...
and also attend the boring library tour...
then only can apply the library card.
haha...
glad that i do not have to been trough all this troublesome to ensure that i got my library card.

erm... already very very 'old' lo...
finished my 4 years in tar.

and i've observed something
nowadays...
the kids are very 'hang fuk'
cos they have their own transport to drive...
and they carry all those colour screen hand phone.
and their parents will go to the college with them just like they are little kids.

i remember that the first day of me being in tar.
my dad just sent me there and tell me this is tar...
just go inside.
huh? where is college hall? where is libarary?

that time i still carrying my erricsion... the phone which the dog see already also will run as far as it could.

the first day in tar, i remember i dunno the way back home.
my dad asked me to go back by myself.
and i remembered i walked about half an hour from the main gate to taman melati lrt satation.
when i reached kl (which means pasar seni there) then i feel safe,
and i know how to go home.
i remembered i was damn scared that time.
hehe

now everything already become history.
so... now have to leave the college soon lo...

weird weird weird...
suddenly notice there is RM30 extra credit in my handphone.
just now when i see my handphone suddenly notice that my credit had been reloaded with RM30.

i was wondering whether is joo who reload for me since i already told him that i dun hav credit already.
when i called him, who knoes that he say he din reload for me.
i tought he was kidding at first,
but i think he would not do such sweet things.

so asked dad had he done anything?
the answer is no.

so now?
the conclusion is this is the money which had fallen from the sky?
weird....

or the gift from god on wesak day?
anyway... just thank the god.
send me RM30 just when i needed some credit.
no need to use my RM 60 top up card yet.

or is it anyone who knoes that i do not have any credit d...
then send me some credit?
i wonder.....
hehe....
thanks god la...

today my dad woke me up very very early.
before 8am.
today actually do not have any class and i'm thinking of staying in the bed for a little longer.
but he woked me up so i have to wake up
then we wait for mom to get ready to go out.

when we are ready, we went to my parent's house.
we are going together for a free breakfast in the vegetarian shop.

then we wait for the uncle and auty's children
and when everyone was ready,
it was about 8.30 am already.

when we reached there,
we was just in time!
the breakfast just started.
we all line up and grab whatever in on our menu.
yes the breakfast was totally free and you can eat as much as you like.

why?
cos today is wesak day!!!!!!
the free breakfast was from 8.30am to 11.00am

since we were early there are not many people.
there are mee hoon, yellow rice, fried chun juang, fried man tou,
vegie curry, vegie fish, vegie cha siu, tofu....
erm....wow.... free you know!!!!

but not really greedy to take too much.
just wanna try everything out by taking some of each item lo.
i remember watching the tv that says that if the thing is free / cheap but you cannot finished it they would charged you extra for wasting the food.

but anyway, feel very greatful and thankful that i could have the opportunity to enjoy such nice free meal.
always remember that there is no free lunch in this world.

still very full now.
i think i would have nothing for lunch today la...

my room was in a mess....
busy studying for acca.
and attending in the intensive class
i think i've stress myself too much d.
until i have the pain in my neck.
seems very very scarry for me.

this few days was having dinner wit fz, yan er and pei li as well as wei wei.
erm... i think should be less chance to hav dinner wit them lur.

i found something interesting in the guy blog.
they eat vegetarian cos they wanna pass the exam...

then i eat vegetarian cos?
haha...
suddenly found that i have no memory about how i choose to be a vegetarian.
i found it very interesting that people say that they would not eat vegetarian.
however i would be a very very interesting point for me to argue.
cos?
if they only eat meat and no vegerable they would in very very bad health
vegetarian is only take away thier meat only ma...
so nothing so different and no big deal about eating vegetarian lo...
rite?

erm... seems like the studying process had slowed down lur...
no mood to focus on exam?
i'm not really sure about things that happened around me.
suddenly feel that have some kind of recognition from the coursemate.

sometimes i really feel that i do so manythings for nothing
i will always remember what miss chin had say.
you better focus on your studies do not do so many things...
i think maybe what she had said is correct gua...
do so much things for nothing in return.
but i do hope it will train my patient.
and do help the poeple who are in the fire and water and get them out of the mist.

still thinking that i'm damn luckily to that i've passed my exam...
so nice...
no need to sit for annother one other than my acca exam.

it seems that lecture tend to ignore you when you already passed your exam.
mr tho was like very reluctant to tell me what was going to come out on the resit paper.
however, i do not wish to know anything about it at all.
haha...
not my business... i can forget all about it. since i already passed the internal exam.

miss chin is kind enough to arrange specially a session for those who did not passed the exam.

and ms ng was kindda pissed off that the question she had set for part b was so easy and yet student din get the correct answer.
i think is cause they have a bias mind towards ms ng gua.
i think she had given us much guidance for the final exam during her lecture hours.
but yet few attended the lecture.
is this the reason for not passing the subject.

and annother thing that i've encounter today is that the junior had requested for her paper to be reviewed (year 1 paper).
however in actual fact for the paper to be passed, the examination board and the lectures had already put in their every effort to pass the candidate.
however, if they do not want to pass you must be due to a specific reason.
firstly the first year paper is an internally assessed paper.
so this involved the 'guai lou' in managing and controlling the passing marks and passing percentage.
if they do not want to pass you plese save your money for resit.
it is waste of money and time to wait for the exam script to be remark.
i'm not totally sure la...
but this is just what i see heard and feel during my four years in tar college accounting la.