低成本做女人

~~很棒的文章~~~(that's why my friend told me)

一日,與德國回來的朋友索華在外灘茶座小聚,很自然聊起有關女人的話題,她很感慨地對我說:『國內做女人成本太高。』

國內有些媒體總在報導怎麼樣才更有魅力?要三圍,要穿漂亮的衣裳,要做皮膚護理,講究化妝技巧;要怎麼樣修煉自己怎麼樣拴住男人的心,抓心還要抓胃……這樣做女人豈不是成本太高呢?最後修煉得面目全非,與真實的自己背道而馳。

索華說:『在國外對魅力的理解很大程度上就是有發自內心的微笑。』你走在街上迎面走來一個女人,她絕對不會板著臉,而會主動向你微笑示意,這微笑是發自內心的。

在國外,講究自然,與大自然親近,女人們喜歡栽花種草喝茶做女紅,這些被中國女人早就摒棄的東西,對她們來說卻是樂此不疲,因為有動手的樂趣;曬太陽,把自己曬成古銅色,誰最健康誰就最美麗,而不是比誰的皮膚最白。

索華給我講了她在德國朋友圈裏的一次小聚會,大家總是把自己在家裏烘焙好的點心,帶到其中一個朋友的後花園裏,大家坐在草地上曬太陽聊天,就覺得很好了。幾乎是沒有成本的,收穫的卻是滿滿的快樂。她們利用的都是大自然所賦予的東西,陽光、綠色和勞動。

午後的陽光照下來,索華喝了一口茶,提到了低成本做女人,一個女人在這個世界中越是發自內心地生活,她的附加成本就越低。她就不會為別人過多地改變自己。這裏最關鍵的是有底氣(核心競爭力)。索華的話讓我沉思良久。

我認識一個女孩,每月化妝品上千元,每次不化妝不出門,為了減肥,每次只吃一小碗飯;另一個朋友,因為嫌自己胸部太平,不能讓先生滿意,花了上萬元偷偷去做了隆胸,結果手術不成功苦不堪言,面目憔悴。

我記得我看到她時,內心湧起的是一種無限的悲哀,一個女人怎麼樣才能做回自己呢?那就是有自由的眼神和心靈,不用受別人的控制。

跟索華提起,她輕歎了一口氣,她說:『她認識的一些國外的朋友好像沒有這種不自信,不管身材好不好,她們都敢穿不帶海綿的胸衣,因為身體是自己的,自己喜歡就行了啊!』

索華接著往下說:『好像她們什麼年齡就做什麼年齡的事,不著急也不落後,從從容容,該生孩子就生孩子,很少有女人為了工作不想要小孩的。』

索華的話讓我想起身邊很多女人都在忙工作,一幫職場女白領,絕對精英人物。曾見過一位事業很成功的女人,別人都很羨莫,她卻歎了一口氣說:『我現在很後悔,該戀愛的時候沒戀愛,我的青春流逝了;該結婚時沒結婚,等再想結婚時,卻找不到合適的,只能降低條件;該要孩子的時候沒要孩子,等到想要的時候,別人的孩子已大了,我怎麼也感覺跟不上趟了。』

每個年齡都有那個年齡該做的事。不然,你的成本就太高了,代價太大了,只是不知你承不承受得起呢?

我對索華說:『妳就是低成本做女人的典範。』她不漂亮,卻極有味道

一個女人是有磁場的,這種磁場來源於她自由的內心。索華從不化妝,更談不上整形,她說一番整潔就好了,微笑是她最好的化妝品。她懂得以內養外,大量吃水果青菜,便宜簡單清清淡淡,卻是極養顏的;她關注
生命,談環保,衣服只穿純棉和麻,不貴卻都極有特點,鞋子只穿低跟,因為舒適美觀,雖然她個子不高;長長的直髮,留了很多年,不染不燙也不做造型,打理頭髮幾乎不花錢,只用一把好梳子就可以了;她從不上健身房,不追逐時尚,因為她始終堅持內心的方向,她每天堅持步行,曬曬太陽走走路就是極好的鍛煉了,不用任何成本並且環保。

她說:『外貌實際上是一個女人的夕陽產業,投資越大,收益是越小。』

26歲時,索華放棄了一份升遷的工作從容地要了孩子,她的身體恢復得很快,如今36歲,孩子也大了;她也從不討好她的老公,從不學什麼馴夫技巧,絕對地放養,老公卻很愛她,總誇她是個有特點的女人,不流俗。

她說:『好女人是創造氛圍的,她喜歡看書,誰規定主婦一定要填飽老公的胃呢?』

她赤足坐在客廳的地上看書,也帶動孩子,還要放上舒緩優美的鄉村音樂,一家人的氣氛就這麼形成了,沒費吹灰之力,孩子也形成了愛看書的習慣;她喜歡大自然,就帶上老公孩子一起玩。

她這個主婦當得雲淡風輕

當我向她訴苦說女人帶孩子太累時,她笑笑說:『讓孩子圍著你轉啊!女人是可以製造氛圍的。』她是家中的一個磁場,不改變自己,不取悅別人,卻照樣很滋潤,並且一家人生活極有質量。這是跟物質無關的,一個心靈自由的女人才能把家庭的生活拓展開來。跟索華分手後,我還在想索華說的低成本做女人,真是妙極!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't really understand what is it in relation to but just keep it here,
and read it again in the future maybe i'll have a different comment.

因为有爱~温力铭

别欺骗自己有多么好
别埋怨我对你有不够好
oh baby!我就是你的罗密欧
我会永远守候你直到最后

别看着神话故事发呆
别幻想自己就是祝英台
oh baby!你就是我的朱丽叶
快跳进这美好的花花世界

so baby!跳跃起来大步走向未来
世界多么精彩
看看这时代

失手再来机会还在
别让这一点点的伤口介怀

因为有爱



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
not feeling so great this few days.. but
realised that i feel better when i listen to this song..
like the show...
three gals and a bed..
and like the actor with the name 'heman' in the show.
typical leng zai...
and i think this song just suit the show...

and heard it again in the ATQ and it makes me wanna search for the song..:)
hope i get it and make it a song i will listen for this few weeks :)
i do not understand how poeple get in and out of the relationship so fast.
serious about relationship?

seems that she had been hurt too many times.
just wanna wish her luck lo...:)
notice that i need to give up a lot of things in order to tidy up my things.
realised how much money that i had spend in the past.
wonder whether i'm really willing to give all of it up.

wonder whether i should give up or not
not to keep any rubbish at home.
my house would definately clean clean.
throw away all the memories.
throw away and not to regret and
just assumed that the robber came and rob away all my sweet sweet memory or i just have a shocked and i just lost all the things i treasure for all this time.

wondering what i should treasure.
you? i wonder i even have any feelings towards you.
and now you are saying you gonna live m'sia.
why? because the world out there is better?

why i'm not sad when you tell me you were leaving?
we were buddy or just friends?
i guess the answer is yes and no..
yes we were buddy.. previously.
friends for the moment.

hope i can treasure it for the moment.
but i found it difficult since our heart is so distance and so far apart.
don't know what topic is common among us and what should i say to break the ice between you and me which it seems that we are once such closed friend.
and i hate myself for doing all the stuff.

Pass away

yesterday my parents when to PD because a friend of theirs pass away.

Today, when i open my eyes....
i got the news that my teacher pass away.
she was a teacher, a friend and a mentor for me.

and she fell sick this year and i hadn't have a chance to see her.
i've contributed too much of my time on my work.
and sometimes i think i have ignored the people and things around me.
actually i feel sad and bad cos i haven had a good chance to speak to her since my graduation.
no chance to introduce my bf to her.

just feel very very awful now..
just do not know hot to express myself.
after finishing secondary...
then you go to college...
during college time or working time you starting to get know of some great people of your opposite sex.
and when you finished you college you get your diploma, degree or even professional qualification.
then you move on to annother stage of your life.
working...
you go for rounds and rounds of interview, answering the similar question.
finally you get your dream job..
which give you good pay.
on the other hand you have presure an challenge in handling every task you face everyday.
then when you feel everything is okay.. you might think of settle down.

for me...
i think i can settle down now..
however i just feel that i'm not ready for it.
i'm just comfortable with what i have now.
without thinking what i'm looking forward to.
have not been updating my blog for a very very long time.
just simply because i'm busy.

sometimes wonder whether it is worth it for all those hard work that i've done.
and to take up all those presure.
boss questioning why you did not do this and that.
what is the status of doing this and that.

and you have to settle the things you spend four months time to do it and now you have to spend one and a half months to finished it just simply because you need to let your client have sufficient time to review it and with the hope that there are no complains from the client.

i think the most important thing is you need to know what to do first and when you should do the thing fast.

i think that should be the way of doing things.

my boss always complain that i'm doing things very slowly.
however i think my speed is okay.
and my bf say i'm pempering my boss too much just by fufilling what she want.

all this month i'm trying my best to look for my balance.
how not to over worked myself.
how to live up to people's expectation.
try not to give empty promises.
a bit stress off...
but i think avoiding is not a good action...
and it's time for me to face the music.

work hard and work the something out.
after the break have to show that i'm able to perform
have to show that i'm better than before.
have to show i'm better than everyone else.

how to prove it?
work my axx out?
have to work at home eventough it's after work?
admit that i'm a bit lazy than before and have to try and boost myself up.
and wannt learn more and more in the future.

i do see my vision
and i do think that just talking doesnt make us any good.
just questioning what is correct and wrong is not enough.
just wasting a lot of time to discuss and questioning what you suppose to do and you never do it.
and also.
just wanna get myself on the move and...
hehe... will become the most efficient staff lo ;)

陶喆 Olia

作词:李焯雄/陶吉吉 作曲:陶吉吉
碎石子路长青苔 指针把时间再扫开
马戏团走了但小丑还在 这舞台
黑马车没停下来 消失前你回过头来
多少人到现在还不明白 还等待
一直走一直走 一直不停的走 该选哪个路口
一瞬间一瞬间 可能这个瞬间 那命运就会改变

OLIA 请不要走 是否我做的还是不够
OLIA 请不要走 为什么永久不会永久 不停留

钟声把夕阳晕开 十八岁又换了一代
机会是否划一次的火柴 不重来
一直走一直走 一直不停的走 能不能再重头
一辈子一辈子 就算用一辈子 也没有办法挽回

OLIA 请不要走 是否我让你等得太久
OLIA 你早巳走 为什么失去才想保有 不放手

不放手 不放手
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just got the new album of david tao from my bf and got it loaded in my pc. i think it would be annother of my favourite album.. and today i wanna share this song..
sound very very nice and relaxing :)

Interesting story

found this interesting story on my e-mail then wanna share it here

兩只蒼蠅

有一位朋友分享了一個有關兩只蒼蠅的故事。這個故事是這樣的……

古時候有個商人到遠方做買賣,用兩匹馬來拉貨物 c當去到了一個斜坡時,兩匹馬拉得很辛苦。

於是,就有兩只蒼蠅飛來了。

蒼蠅A說: "喂!那兩匹馬那麼辛苦,我們去幫幫它們吧! "

然後,兩只蒼蠅便飛到那兩匹馬的耳朵旁、鼻子前,嗡嗡嗡嗡……

那兩匹馬因拉車辛苦,加之又有煩人的蒼蠅在飛來飛去,感到非常難受。最後,那兩匹馬終於爬上斜坡,這松了一口氣。

這時,兩只蒼蠅也松了一口氣的說:" 啊!你看,我們幫了他們忙,我們也辛苦了。"

其實,那兩匹馬就是形容我們這些任勞任怨的員工。而那兩只蒼蠅,就是我們的上司。

當我們已經忙到很痛苦的時候,我們的上司只會在我們身邊吵吵鬧鬧,不但沒減輕我們的負擔,反而嚴重影響我們工作的進度。最可惡的是,他們還會以為自己貢獻很多

I think it's true that sometimes the boss doesn't care how you do it.. they just want you to get the things done.
yeah they will always ask you to rush the things out.
sometimes it's a sad sad thing for me cos my client is leaving.
and some are leaving the company without informing us.
some they wanna have a change of environment.
for me, I'm just not confortable with the people in my group knowing what's my relationship with the client.
I do not like to use the relationship as a tool to achieve what I want but I just want to proof that I'm capable of handling the job myself and I'm able to make the decision of my own.

Maybe my client feel it's not so important to inform everyone that he/she is leaving, and the choice of leaving the company is up to them. It doesn't involve anyone else, however I do feel that it's a curtesy that you inform other people you are leaving so that they know how else they should contact with since you are leaving.

I feel that it's not responsible to say that the thing is not urgent and you would not like to attend to it now and the new comer would be able to attend to it.
I do feel a bit upset with the mentality of those poeple.

Having to handle this situation since early of this year starting with A company, I think I've gotten used to being able to handle it because people have their own choice in the life and they can choose their life path. and what we can do it's just say all the best.

I do think I'm a bit upset by things this few days and i think i should have a rest by now.
Take a break and let things go smooth.
erm.. my client suddenly e-mail us to inform us that they wanna pay us a courtesy visit.
and the date he choosed is the date right after our filing deadline.

and I have not inform him that the client that my boss actually resuffle the portfolio and I'm no longer in charge of the accounts.

I think one of the biggest weekness of me is not being able to say no to my client.
and I think when everyone say okay.. then you have to learn how to say okay as well rite?

today it seems like a very very messy day for me..
it's like a war.
yeah the filing deadline is nearer and nearer.
and we have to take up all the ad-hoc job and starting to teach the junior to do things.

wonder what will happened.
everyone is long for a long long break.
everything should be ending
hoping it will end soon.
and the begining will come real soon as well.
continue regarding my post for the resign virus.

my client resigned from their company. most of the staff resigned because they cannot 'tahan' the boss and also maybe because they want to change to a better working environment.

and annother client who replace the staff temporary, have to go back to thier own /old position.
and i have client who always ask me to go to thier place and they would 'belanja' me

feel abit sad la...
maybe this is the season of staff turn around.
and the company have to pass the season and look for better staff and go trough the hardship for the moment.

sometimes it's a bit difficult to deal with new staff
because they are alien to you.
but if you are friendly to them and give your full co-operation to them
they would give you the same assistant.

Resign Virus

earlier this week,
my senior tender.. then followed by my junior

my senior just joined us for about three month and my junior joined us for about three weeks.

strees is a bad virus and it result to other poeple wanted to resign from their current post.
sometimes other poeple have very lame excuse saying they like the job but cannot cope with the presure.
and sometimes i wonder isn't their choice in the first place to join the company to get more exposure and face more challenge ma...
then now why they wanna give up.

i really cannot understand.
but i do strongly believe that poeple have their own choice in live and nobody can influence one's decision.

i know my senior is very adenment to leave us
i just feel a bit kasian since we have a very very strong team for this round filling and things went better than expected.

as for my junior and she is just fresh and just join the new working world apart from studying and studying previously.
i do think that it should be a bit weird for me to conclude that since she like tax so much she should not just leave the job and ...
and my boss think that it is not a responsible act.
everyone in the office is stressed off except me?

why because their cases are bigger than mine
because i have the sense of urgency?
but i know the way i do my tax computation sucks.
and i produce the tax computation in a very not timely manner.

everyone is soooooooooooooooooooooooo stress off.
i need to take care of everyone's feeling.
cannot be joking all the way.

i do hope things are running well.
i know you want to bomb your boss with good results.
but sometimes things cannot be rushed.

sometimes i just feel that it's not right to rush things out in all of the sudden lo...
sometimes i wonder what's my purpose of leaving such a stressful life.
others they can enjoy things around them.
while me keep being complaint
you should not be on the phone with the client for such a long time.

i found the solution not to talk on the phone with the client for very long time.
that is to e-mail client.

sometimes i think client need your immediate attention and what you should do is not just ignore what they want.
i know sometimes we have to 'berdikari'
however most of the time i think the importance of 'tolong-menolong' should be made know among each other.
a little stress of...
a little piss off...

wonder why treating other poeple nice and they would not appreciate it.

consider my action recently a bit too over.
consider myself a bit out of control
consider myself a bit too stress off.

what to do?
working for about 18 hours a day.
and what you get in return is your boss telling you,
why this and that not done?

why you so slow?
altough i told you give me by this date...
but you can give it to me earlier if possible.

what do you know your requirement are a bit just too out of the world?
do you know it's just a bit too much?

I tell myself my motivation to work is holiday.
I don't care after working for this filing I would like to go on holiday.

that is my purpose.
why? do you think that the relationship between group member should not be good?
talking among group member is prohibited?

talking with client also prohibited?
relationship with client have to be built up.
knowing the politic in the client's company
knowing how things runs in the client's company.

admit that i might not be handling things as good as you are able to.
but i'm learning to handle it.
wonder why you say cannot talk to the financial controller while the financial controller is the person who can give me all the information i needed to complete my assignment.

no joking during work...
i think you are just a little bit stress off and
a little bit pissed off...

i think you need a break!!!!!!
about three to four months ago, i was talking about taking exam in my company...
now after months and months of waiting, the results are finally out.

erm... i got the best result among those who are taking the exam.
yeah... i scored 82 average for the basic tax examination held in my company.
top scorrer... yeah!!!

but i think i was under presured since my ATM was previously one of the top scorrer during her time as a junior.
and my STM also 'inform' me that i should perform very well in my exam cos the staff under her never fail to perform well in the company's internal tax examination.

wow.. dispite all the presure.. i think i did not did very well, in the sense that i should continuously update myself with the tax knowledge.
and should be able to answer the client's question since it's a tax consultant's responsibility to be able to answer to their question.
erm... hoping for a better future la...
half of year 2006 has finished.
and there is annother half to go before the year end.

and now i guess should be my half-yearly review for this year.
nothing much had been done.
and i started to feel i'm slowing down.

now i wanted to gain some momentum when i work.
and want to try to grab as many as possible from my client and my senior.

now i start to learn tax again.
try to look at the acca past year question.
wonder whether i could be able to teach tax in the near future.
wanted to gain the momentum.
wanted to have the sharp sense... in terms of tax and when being questioned by client i would be able to answer their question.

the following are my plan to be executed during the year:-

1) improve my tax knowledge
2) to be able to drive to work by end of this year
3) to reduce weight by end of the year
4) to really tidy up my room and give it a brand new feel by the end of the year.
5) to have a week's holiday in Malaysia and relax myself
6) to keep in touch with poeple - friends from secondary, college and etc
7) to concern about my family member more
8) to get a double promotion next year
9) to pempered myself nicely!!!!!!
10) of course keep on blogging!!!!
sometimes i'm wonder why people are so afraid to deal with higher level management.

sometimes we deal with poeple like the company's accountant and sometimes just the accounts staff.

sometimes we would just prefer to deal with poeple who do not have autority and just following order.

but i do think that we need to deal with those poeple who have more authority, like financial controller or group accountant?

they are the poeple overseeing the company's financial position and they should be the poeple who are in a better position to comment about what i required from them?
sometimes i wonder why i so not taking care of myself.
and wonder why i did not give 100% of my life.

wonder what is good and what is not in my life.
wonder what should be my next step.

life is boring.
after you finished your studies..
get a good job...
after getting a good job...
started to think of get a car a house...
and at the same time getting a suitable partner...
and years after that...
you settle down and you get married...
and you have kids...

it sound so damn boring to me..
cant life be a bit more intersting?
even you can have a break form anything you want to runaway...
you have to come back to the realty of life.
that's you need to worry about money, your career, your parents, your family, your friends...

wonder whether there is anything exciting in my life that is going to happen real soon...
i'm not 18 or 22 anymore...
have to start to plan what i want i my life and
plan to settle down...(maybe i do not want to settle down?)
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