tOm@kO's life ~*_*~

I always think that I know everything
But you insist I know nothing
I always fight to have very last word
But your thoughts were never heard

I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through

I wish I could take back some things I said
I wish I could make things better
I wish I could take back some things I did
Everyday I'm feeling sadder

I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry

Never fear I'll be here
Say a prayer
We can take on the hands of time
And I, I know we can make it
If we just stay together
And trust each other on this one
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through,
don't tell me it's through
Said I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
I've never meant to, never meant to hurt you
I'll borrow, I will borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is one of the song i like...
i'm sorry and i meant it...

i had a bad dream...
it was weird cos the dream was real..
quite real..

luckily managed to wake up before the bad dream ended..
eventhough it seems like it would never be ending..
cos it's a dream which is talking about daily life..

i scare me a lot..
maybe it's trying to teach me to treasure the things around me..
not taking for granted.
and starting the appreciate the things that you own...

seeing my boss being so busy and i cant help much with her actually i felt myself a bit sorry la..

too bad.. i'm still too weak leh...
just hoping that i'm going to be strong soon.. hoping everything will goes well soon :)

it's about one and half year since i moved to the new floor.
and there are a lot of changes to it.
i.e.
from desktop to using laptop.
my neighbour from a guy.. become a gal..
things are getting more and more at my work place...
herm...
try to tidy up..
but it's sort of difficult..
but try to make my work place as cosy as possible to make myself like to work :)

this is how my work place look like one and half year ago :)

this is an extract of the article about the the polymer bank note i found in BNM's website :)

The easily recognisable feel, look and check security features of the RM5 Polymer banknote are highlighted as an identification guide for the public. Please note that the current RM5 paper banknote remains legal tender but will be withdrawn gradually from circulation.

Advantages of the polymer banknote :

Stronger and more durable than paper banknote
Does not absorb dirt or liquid
Cleaner and more hygienic as it minimise growth of bacteria
Difficult, time consuming and costly to counterfeit

hoh.. see the quality of the note?
durable...
yes...
need to use tape to tape it..
wonder whether it is usable..
and...
some of the poor hawker received such note.. which was torn into half..
they also din notice it...
and buy the time they notice..
they have not tears to cry on...
what i do wit it?

of course i'll use my tape to tape it..
and continue to use it lo..
what can i do with it?
hopefully can use it out quitely :P

this year i post lesser and lesser..
one main point is cos i'm busy...
another cos... i'm lazy...
yeah it rhythm..

but...
i'm try to hit the target of posting 100 post this year...

huh? this means that i've got 25 more to go to write?
meaning 3/4 post per day?
i'm crazy?
siao liao la...

to me...
my blog i would like to put something meaningful.
something i see and what i feel..
cos it's meaningless if i just keep on putting rubbish on my blog rite? :)

yesterday.. me, my bf and his housemate and roommate have their very first steamboat at home since they moved to kl...
cos i'm vegetarian..
so i have annother special rice cooker for myself.. :)




busy putting all you want to eat inside the rice cooker...
all you can eat...
and all you want to eat... :)
dinner is self service and you can watch downloaded tvb series while waiting for the food to be cooked :)



yi ta da ki ma su (我要开动了)

there is a lot of vege used in the steamboat...
mushroom too.. :)
a bit of the frozen fishball, seafood product, hotdog, seawead and egg...
end up we are too full and cant finished the mee we prepared just in case the food are not enough..

this is the first time that we prepare for seamboat and the conclusion is...
we bought too many stuff and we cant finished everythings leh :)
but we still have a very very enjoyable nite :)

actually i feel very sorry for you..
seeing you working so hard and yet..
there is someone so anti to work together wit you in the group.
i wanted to stand up for you..
but a coward like me would not know how to stand up for u.

i understand the purposes of you working so hard is to meet our group billing budget.
but would they understand?
they have been with the group one year plus.
and they have not been through the pain of need to bill to meet the budget
to them it's just nothing

you always ask them to put yourself into other's shoe.
but has they really put themselves into your shoe?

they just play and joke around..
just like they are still very young...
why you need to work so hard?
because you like it?
enjoy it?
what's life for you?

i just cant stand people being misunderstood..
and it's just very unfair in my eyes...

i would like to try to review the junior work..
but the work never came back to me.
it went straight back to you.
i was thinking then, what's the point of me reviewing their work?

yeah... maybe it's just like what you said,
i'm just too sensitive :)
sometimes i think only sensitive person would appreciate how other people thinks.

but... to me..
the most important things is not to be so stubborn on stuff which are mitty gritty.

it's the latest movie in town...
how? are you going to watch it?

bought a new handphone...
so.. looking forward to take very very nice picture of what i see and heard
looking forward to let people see the world through the eyes of tee chong...

so hope to blog more with photo..

have not been getting myself a new handphone since i enter college.
the last phone i bought was the 3310 i bought when i enter the college..
and it was about 6 years ago?

and on and off i switch to better phone...
but the phone are either second hand from my bf or third hand from my bf brot/sis...
so.. now with my better phone...
i would like to take more picture lo :)
looking forward for a better me :)

很好奇也并不晓得你会不会很偶然或很偶尔，跑到我的blog里头看看笨笨的我在写些什么东西。

感觉自己很傻。
还有期待和憧憬。
也并不知道自己期待和憧憬些什么东西。

很多的东西是自己忽略了
但回头太难了
事情或友情已经不复存在

希望有天你会读到这篇日志
发觉原来我偶尔也会想想你
虽然我们很早就已经没有共同的话题

很想念听梁静茹的歌。
因为她的歌陪伴我最伤心的时间
也常常让我想起你。

或许很多东西会因为我们
错过以后，遗憾过后更清楚，更清晰自己要什么东西

或许我和他一样
选择放弃是因为
希望你有更多自由
做你想要做到事情

请原谅我一厢情愿的
幻想我为你所做的都是为你好
虽然可能在你身边支持你
可能就是最好的

可是很多很多年以后
却发觉我还站在我们友情的原点
而你却已经跑了很远很远
怎么也寻找不到你的踪迹

yesterday meet my MD in the lift...
and ...
in a coincidence i wore skirt yesterday..
and he praised that i look smart yesterday.

actually sometimes i feel very pai seh every time i wear skirt cos will be tease by someone.
very used to wearing pants to work.
and to them it's as if i do not wear skirt at all.

it's little bit funny..
just i'm scared that it's very troublesome.
and cumbersome..
it's not because i do not like to wear skirt.
it's just more simple for me to wear pants.
that's it.

however, as it is more and more difficult to find suitable and nice pants,
i think i might need to wear skirt in the future d.

have not been treating myself good for the past few months...
just make myself busy..
living without quality...
my room is messy..
my table in the office is messy...
my table at home is messy...
all i care the most is work..
work and work...

so now.. when peak is coming to an end...
will try not to treat myself so bad...
tidy up the table..
tidy up the room...
treat myself a little bit better..

a little bit nicer...
a little bit better...
but do not relax myself..
keep myself moving...
keep improving..

bought 3 original album recently...
victor's "need you the most"..
micheal's "never apart"(不会不分离)
fish's "J'adore"(崇拜)

sometimes wonder why need to buy original?
cos..
i can easily DL them from the website at now cost...
with the fast Internet connection in the office...
and i just put it in my computer if i ever need to listen to it i jus on it.
i do not need the disc as well.

so i'm questioning myself why need to buy original...

and the debate is...

i'm an ethical person? (haha... i already downloaded all their song.. b4.. i bought the album... so what's the point...)

to support local singer? (the Malaysian boleh attitude.. so must support them?)

to play it inside my Kenari? (haha.. you do not drive.. and your bf dun like you to
play the CD and prefer to listen to MY fm... so.. what's the point?)

cos i got $$ (yeah.. buying the album meaning no $$ to save meaning getting poorer)

satisfaction of buying original (... ...)

end up... just like what my bf say...
(ai.. your wasting your $$)

but for me it's just feel it's good to reward myself...
doing something i like.. getting something i want at a price i think it's okay for me.

so.. conclusion is..
I can do what i like with the $$ i earn myself..
so.. i got nothing to complaint...

have been treating myself bad this few months...
not taking leave for half a year? cos got a lot of stuff to rush..
so now decided to treat myself better..
took one day off on the monday b4 sultan's b'day (public holiday)
reli need a good rest..

also to treat myself better..
today went for shopping and bought a couple of thins for myself..

fish new album..
SeeD working attire cot + skirt.. (with one free big SeeD bag)
dress for annual dinner..
and... the credit card limit(here refer to my internally set limit) for the month.. burst again... haha... scarry

and suddenly notice that i'm getting out of figure...
fat.. fatter... going to be fattest d...
got fat ever since started working..
mayb because i got very good appetite cos of working presure.
sometimes feel upset wit myself why i'm treating myself so bad..
i think need to control.
so that... i need to save $$ as well :)

erm...
sometimes wondering why need to work so hard...
sometimes wonder why money is always not enough..
sometimes wonder why i cant keep my $$

haha...
maybe it's time for me to cut my credit card...
gotta be better in controlling one's $$ spending..

erm..

有时候感觉上是很挣扎的。。
生活就是如此

Charming, poised and sociable you need peace and harmony around you and always seek to create a happy environment. Perceptive and with strong intuition you are able to make sound judgements. You show great flexibility in attitude being open and responsive to the needs and opinions of others. This ability gives you potential for success in business dealing with the public. Your warm personality and caring ways ensure you are loved by family and friends.

sounds correct wor?
what do you think/

it's seems to be super stressed for me this few weeks...
filing deadline is near and job cant be finished.

and i can sleep during the nite time...
but jus short short little sleep and will automatically wake up at before 6 and i will force myself to continue to work...
ai... wonder why i want to live this kind of life...
looking forward it to come to an end...
actually i think a lot of things can be avoided for the last minute rush.
maybe cos i did not did my part well enough...

just realised i did a tax computation using the wrong principle.
actually for me it's weird cos nobody notice the way of computation is wrong.
luckily i notice it when i'm doing some reading for another company with similar nature...
maybe this is one of the cause of my stress..
haha.. yeah i'm super stressed now...
last time is just the hand shivering ...
now it's cant sleep well...
my days does not end with the end of the tax filing for the month..
there are still a few companies to go.
all big big one...
it's gonna be super stressed for me up to Dec ...
looking forward to finish everything soon :)

so...
i'm sick again...
still reluctant to go and see doctor...
so.... doctor tee chong know how to cure me gua...

this time i'm having bad cough...
maybe it's because of the weather
maybe because the other side of the office is having renovation work on progress..
ai.. wonder why i'm sick...
haha... maybe i let some1 'gek dao'

sometimes i wonder whether i'm doing the correct stuff?
sometimes i wonder why i'm working so hard...

at least now i suffer less..
my manager dun have bad impression to me
haha.. i'm still weak in certain aspect..
trying to improve...
trying to move up..
trying to be better...

looking forward for something better in my work...
looking forward for something more interesting..

中文版
一场很美变成很惨的恋爱
泪流不止的心还包着绷带
又痛又愁看不开
我把自己藏成模糊的存在

爱情永远没有答案总要猜
眼角湿着嘴角笑着放大悲哀
又伤又累不明白
怎么躲不开得到又失去的无奈

all i wanna do is find a way
back into love
多想有一个人能和我分享快乐

是谁叫你这样傻傻闯进来
自以为是分析我有多奇怪
我却无从辩白
在狼狈中又被变新的痛快

你的加油让我有梦想不感慨
你的批评让我生气难忍耐
偏偏又命中要害
你的诚实变我的依赖

all i wanna do is find a way
back into love
找到了一个人能和我分享快乐
为什么当我牵你的手
会觉得天堂是散步就能走到的

当我又在犹豫应该不应该
爱我吻我让我气喘不过来
当我笨的想逃开
痛骂我能让我感觉到爱

all i wanna do is find a way
back into love
尽情享受两个人最靠近得快乐
一个人不懂那种快乐
两颗心摩擦着缠绕着
经历各不同的绳索
带我们攀越上爱得最巅峰

way back into love.
original version
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.

[Verse 2]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
Oooooooh, Ooooooh, Ooooooh.

[Middle-eight]
(Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!
Oooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooooh. Oooooooh. Ooooooh Ooooooooh. Ooooooooh.

this is annother movie that i think i would like to watch..
yet..
it's not the type of movie he would like to watch...
sometimes there are a lot of consideration when deciding whether we want to watch the movie or not.
sometimes it's all becos of him.
yeah.. why?

so... i should find someone who will go watch those movie which he would not wanna watch with me???