tOm@kO's life ~*_*~

me and my dad... do we look alike? 

my dad and grandpa and me before my uncle went to england 

me and my cousin 

this is me also cute rite? 

this is a picture taken during a visit in kfc many many years ago... 

wow.. my dad sure look a lot like the mixture of jerry yan and zhai zhai.... so handsome... 

goosh.....
wat? raining... again? hahaha.....
carzy liao... okok study study... must fight the sleepy creature....
countdown 3 days more to go lo....
hehehe

today was merdeka day and i promise my friend and boy friend that we would count down for merdeka.. and i went to sleep again...
i felt guity and sorry that i did not fulfill my promise...
erm.. why m ialways doing that huh?
what had happened to me?

2moro is merdeka day... gonna b 47 years old b'day for malaysia/malaya
wanna countdown and celebrate... but cannot...
cos it is exam time...
and i could not being able to go to penang to visit my grand parents..
but...
the most important thing is pass the exam...::P

sometimes i dun like how people do things
but we should really appreciate what others done for us...
sometimes it is really troublesome..
and they need to purposely travel really far just to help us to complete something...
and what we do is just to sit there and wait..
and also keep on complaint as things went wrong..

gotta focus sum more...
focus focus....
exam is next week..
focus...

sunday is always good.. this is what bee told me
to me... a lot of things is in between good and no good and it is really your choice to decide whether it is good or not
this two weeks are exam weeks..
and just finised two exam and one more to go...
life is just once...
it is either you enjoy it or... suffer with it lo
:P

doing a count for the acca blog.. but i really wonder whether to do a count for this blog... do i really care whether there is anyone droping by my blog?
dunno ar

i think sometimes i'm really greedy.. dapat betis mahu peha...
why? it is this is the man kind generalisation?
when u get a lot... you want more and more

heard faye wong's song...i do...
reminds me about a friend... yu yee
actually i've been trough a lot with her and without her...
about 4-5 years... my life would be surrounded by her....
but now...
she seems like get out of my life... and also have her new life and also new boy friend...
i was quiet up set about her leaving her x sometimes ago..
i was concern... but she said nothing about it....
what shall i do?
seems so empty when i see her again..
or is it the emptness between us that causes me to think that she is very lonely deep inside her...
maybe it is all inside my head...
"in your head.. in your head... zombie... zombie... zombie... zombie..."
why do we need to live like zombie everyday...????
is it just that we are lonely? then we need to find someone to accompany us?

like to chat with my friend bee...
or to say my sister... altough we had not seen each other for like two or three years but we seem to concern about each other because.. we online everyday and... we always chat and chat and chat...
thanks a lot bee

today is the day my family worship my grandfather....
my grandfather had passaway for more that 10 years already...
but i think i still miss the time that i've spend with him...
he is really really taking a very good care over me...
but it is really pitty that he only exists in my life for 10 years...
it is really really short for me....
but... i do really appreciate what he had done to bring me up as a well educated person...
if he is somewhere that he could read this i would really really like to thank him for his great job...
yo yo... thanks for ur great job..:P

today is the big day for exam.. and i suck my exam...
or i did my exam in a sucking way... but i think i would pass it but...
maybe not to score it lo...
suck man...
do really hope the history would not repeat during my actual acca exam...
2moro is moral exam...
there is always a saying that the people who scored their moral would not have moral:)

tomorrow is the big day.. my exam for this year after a long half year break..
it is really like a different thing for me and i seem like not really worried about it...
is it about the thinking of whatever will be will be?
or is it about that i've done my best and i've nothing to regret....
just wonder how's 2moro's paper and how well would i be doing...
ok.. jus put my hand together and pray...

sometimes we go very very fast and people around us cannot follow our footsteps...
and they complaint and complaint that you are too fast.too apart from them and you do not care about their feeling...
sometimes you get upset and frustrated in life.. and you wanna stop everything you are doin...
but in other times you found that what you are doin is really really meaningful...
thefore you pick up and go again...
life is what you choose.. you wanna live or not...
how you wanna live is what you choose

today.. is suppose to be the chinese valentine... qi xi...
but he did nothing at all but to make me angry...
i'm tired really... tired...
tought of letting him to leave me alone...
and do nothing...
jus wanna be alone.. and do not care about anything...

sometimes you found that what you think is very narrow minded....
sometimes what i think and care about is all only about ourself.
we do not really care about others, eventhought even we said that we care.
i'm too self centred and do not care about people around me...
i'm living in a world and a box of my own...

last night i was trap in the lift with the person i hate most....
but eventually i found that there is nothing i would hate him as much as i did before.
cos if you hate people you'll use up all ur energy and also suck others energy away..
so love others do not hate them...
make this world a better place

when i went home i fell asleep and fould that i haven take my dinner when i wake up it is already 2moro...
what had happened to me? again... exam season had come.. start to feel the exam presure
am i studying the right thing? what i f things that i study would not come out?
i'm fill with a lot of uncertainty...
this world is fill with a lot of uncertainty...
what i really need is.... a lot of rest and handle my presure

i was given a task to help my cousin with his potential new hobby that is collecting stamp.
when i look back at all my stamp i was reluctant to give all of them out...
i would not know what to do next..
what and how am i goin to do?
god please give me a guide.
whether to give them up or keep it to myself?

mood~~~ mooddy...
listenning to~~~~ ah yu... fishy
exam is one week away and i'm starting to feel sick about studying..
it is really really sad that i have to study in order to get a good job.
it is also really a sad sad thing for me..

sometimes there is always a lot of suprise in our life and we tend to do thing best for ourself.
but why don't we do something best for others and not for ourself?
i really tend to think about that...
and the feeling is sometimes make me feel lonely.
cos there is only me me me me in my heart...
sometimes you think you need to present the best of urself to others and you tend to be more presentable.
i really like to see how people look and see things the other way round..
have you ever think that on the other side of the world there would be a person having the same looks like you?

just got a call from my friend. i was really really happy when i got his call.. really really glad that we are still in contact.
my uncle told me not to let go of what i've learned during my basic and advance in asia works. it is really a hard time for me to use what i've learned during the training and adapt things which i've learn.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
it is really to practice what you've learned with those have not learn it. but what you can do is to show up be a better person.
sometimes people doubt you cos you are trying to go out of the box. you are the person who they are not used to.
it is easy to get out of the box. but it is not easy to keep yourself from getting back to the box.
i would like to stay in the comfort zone with all my heart.
just got a very good feedback from my sister. she said i was a angle cos i did a great blog for my course and she wish that her course had someone who did the same thing for them also.
this is similar to the greatest accomplishment that i've exprienced during the trianing.
at last.. i found i did something similar in the training and in my real world.
it is hard for me... but i would never give up... cos i only live once and what i can do i would do the best:)

sometimes you work very hard because of people's expectation on you.
sometimes you would want to do something but you would not have the gust to do so.
sometimes you think you are doing the right thing but in fact you are not.
sometimes you feel very lonely eventhough you are surounded by people

愛情合約~
用我的笑容 填補你的空泂
用你的溫柔 塞滿我的心中
用我的野蠻 除去你的困難
用你的衣杉 驅除我的冰寒
用我的任性 對抗你的固執
用你的手臂 守護我的嬌弱
拿我的真心 換取你的感情

以物易物~ 以示公平~

chocolate is my favourate...
to gals knowing how to take care of yourself is to eat chocolate occassionally...
however do not take it all the time cos it is really fattenning..:P
so love yourself.. buy a bar and eat it now...

当承诺已不可信

爱情变作一纸合约

相恋是不是就有凭有据

相爱的人 是不是就能安安心心

最近有些疯狂地喜欢上爱情合约了。。

可是开始就结束的爱情是悲还是喜？

还是它是记忆中， 曾经拥有过的美好？

"Give yourself a hug when you feel unloved
Give yourself a hug when people put on air
and makes you feel like bug.
Give yourself a big big hug,a million, billion, zillion, trillion hug because
you are special like everyone is."

this is a poem by my little cousin kennan...

i like it very much cos if you do not love yourself at the first place who else will then?

therefore life is about two choices....

whether you want it to be good or you want it to be bad...

therefore it is really~

if it is to be it is all up to me

sometimes we always complain about others do not love me and others do not like me... but i think it is all about how you think and how you feel.

時間~~

時間是一種很奇怪的東西

時間會使一個人變的很陌生

時間會使一個人的個性改變

時間是愛情的天敵

時間是友誼的天敵

距離 ~

距離是一種很可怕的東西

距離是考驗愛情的東西

距離是考驗友誼的東西

距離會使人思念

距離會使人陌生

感情 ~

感情是一種很神奇的東西

感情會使一個人不顧一切

感情會使一個人迷失方向

感情是人類的弱點

感情是人類的優點

幸福 ~

幸福 看不到

幸福 聽不到

幸福 觸摸不到

幸福 是Feeling

幸福 是Enjoy

幸福是 你深愛的人,也深愛著你

幸福是 想睡,不必擔心起床時間

幸福是 吃到最想吃的東西

幸福是 來到最想去的地方

幸福是 聽到最想聽的音樂

幸福是 想獨處時,沒人打擾

幸福是 跌倒了,又爬起來

幸福是 和朋友、情人有說不完的話

幸福是 雖非富有,但生活不愁匱乏

幸福是 寒流來襲時,把冰冷的腳放在情人的暖暖肚皮上

幸福是 炙熱太陽下,有一大片清涼的西瓜吃

幸福是 與最愛的人共賞明月

幸福是 永遠有讀不完愛讀的書

幸福是 自己感到被幸福包圍

感谢伤害你既人，因为他磨练了你既心志。

感谢欺骗你既人，因为他增进了你既智慧。

感谢中伤你既人，因为他砥砺了你既人格。

感谢鞭打你既人，因为他激发了你既斗志。

感谢遗弃你既人，因为他教化了你既独立。

感谢绊倒你既人，因为他强化了你既双腿。

感谢指责你既人，因为他提醒了你既缺点。

感谢所有使你更坚强既人！

oh... you feel happy when the semester is goin to the end..
however it is quiet sad to say also cos this also means that exam is around the corner...
what a pitty thing to know...

exam is just steps away... there is really a big big difference between studies and having to face examination presure.
sometimes i really wonder who created this thing called exama and who had would like to maintain this thing call exam...
it is very tiring that we need to compete with each other everyday.

when time is running short and you discovered that you have too many to study and too little time to do everything sometimes you really start to panic.

Sometimes i wonder knowing that i would definately have not enough time to study, if i was granted a wish to go back to the time at the begining of the semester what would i do? would i be doing the same thing again that is play and play and still wait until the last minute then only start to study?

brave to take the right action without any direction? 

Sometimes i really feel like breaking up with my boy friend.
WHY?
there's always no specific reason to fall in love with someone.
but you could definately give yourself 101 reason to breakup with someone.

• he does not care enough about me
• he does not understand me
• he is too selfish
• he is seeing someone.
• i do not like him anymore.
• he is too poor
• kami tak seiras
• we are too not alike
• .......
• .......

Sometimes really wonder why that feelings comes and it goes away sometime.

the feeling of having someone by your side and let someone to leave you alone...

Sometimes you felt that time is running short and there is a lot of things that you haven done and you have to little time to finished all the things which you would like to finish. It is really not an easy job.
Sometimes you get even frustrated when there is a lot of distrubance and things are on your side and you find that people try to distract you from focusing what to do and what you wanted to do in your life.
Sometimes life is really a big frustration but how you want it to be is really is really all up to yourself and not for others to decide what would and would not happen in your life
IF IT IS TO BE IT IS ALL UP TO ME.

The Sandpiper by Robert Peterson She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sandcastle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea. "Hello," she said. I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child. "I'm building," she said. "I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring. "Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand." That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by. "That's a joy," the child said. "It's a what?" "It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy." The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed completely out of balance. "What's your name?" She wouldn't give up. "Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson." "Mine's Wendy... I'm six." "Hi, Wendy." She giggled. "You're funny". In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me. "Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day." After a few days of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat. The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed. "Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?" "What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance. "I don't know, you say." "How about charades?" I asked sarcastically. The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is." "Then let's just walk." Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked. "Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages. Strange, I thought, in winter. "Where do you go to school?" "I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation." She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed. Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at Home. "Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, "I'd rather be alone today." She seemed unusually pale and out of breath. "Why?" she asked. I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, My God, why was I saying this to a little child? "Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day." "Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and--oh, go away!" "Did it hurt?" she inquired. "Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself. "When she died?" "Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off. A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there. Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door. "Hello," I said, "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was." "Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies." "Not at all -- she's a delightful child." I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said. "Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you." Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath. "She loved this beach so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." Her voice faltered, "She left something for you ... if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?" I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with "MR. P" printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed: A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY. Tears welled up in my eyes and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," I muttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for each year of her life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand -- who taught me the gift of love. NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a momentary setback or crisis. This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means, take a moment... even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses. This comes from someone's heart, and is shared with many and now I share it with you. May God Bless everyone that receives this! There are NO coincidences ! everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us !

is this real or just made up by others? 

Here are some points to ponder

Our job is not to see through one another, But to see one anotherthrough.

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness - It isusually returned.

When we are hurt, there is no sweeter revenge than to forgive.

Those at war with others are seldom at peace with themselves.

For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

The best mirror is an old friend.

Don't marry someone that you can just live with .Instead, marrysomeone that you can't live without.

As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our abilities.

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Chances makes our parents. Choices makes our friends.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

This story won the Commonwealth prize (chosen out of 52,000 entries from 50countries.. It was written by a secondary 3 student in Raffles Institution,Singapore.. It's definitely worth a read...so take your time and enjoy

What the modern woman wants

THE old woman sat in the back seat of the magenta convertible as it careeneddown the highway, clutching tightly the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it mightbe kidnapped by the wind.

She was not used to such speed. With trembling hands she pulled the seat belttighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callousedfingers. Her daughter had warned her not to dirty it: 'Fingerprints show veryclearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobilephone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance','liquidation', 'assets', 'investments'. Her voice was crisp and important andhad an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreigngirls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old ladyclucked her tongue in disapproval.

'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimedagitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicuredfingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut andhurled it angrily towards the back seat. The mobile phone hit the old woman onthe forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up andhanded it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretense and switching to Mandarin.'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.' The oldlady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view mirror, wondering what she wasthinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same crypticlook. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune,which broke the awkward silence.

'Hello Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.'

Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered herdaughter telling her how an English name was very important for 'networking',Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the Ancient Relic tothe temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'

Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Herdaughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!'

The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag indefence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almostgarish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got outof the back seat and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughterstepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied herlipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, notbothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick. She knelt downsolemnly and whispered her now-familiar daily prayer to the gods.

'Thank you, God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years.Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman inthis world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maidto help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has beenblessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh (dialect for Caucasianman).

'Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what shesays. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything excepthappiness.

'I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots whilereaping the harvest of success.

'What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a roomin her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because Iaffect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her oldmother. It is my fault.'

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes.

Finally, with her head bowed in reverence, she planted the half-burnt jossstick into an urn of smouldering ashes. She bowed once more.

The old woman had been praying for her daughter for 32 years. When her abdomenwas round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling andadorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably a girl.

Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who couldnot work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to herwaist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everythingshe ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter wouldnever have to depend on a man.

She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman thatshe, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the abilityto do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the heartsof men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out andmen would listen.

She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow upand drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. Shewatched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her,calling her laotu (old-fashioned in Chinese). She wanted her mother to be'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.

Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she hadprayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but thewealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots andnow she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors byonly a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so ephemeral;that of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, andyet her daughter had not found true happiness.

The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When herdaughter leaves the earth, everything she has will count for nothing. Peoplewould look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would beforgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertiblesand mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayersfor her daughter; now she had only one want: that her daughter be happy. Shelooked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, herbrow furrowed with anger and worry.

Being at the top is not good, the woman thought. There is only one way to gofrom there - down. The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spreadout a packet of beehoon (rice vermicelli) in front of the altar.

Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain gods. How could shepray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? Buther daughter had her own gods too - idols of wealth, success and power that shewas enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life. Every day was a quest forthe idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All thewants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her, and leave her anempty soulless shell at the altar.

The old lady watched her joss stick. The dull heat had left a teetering greystem that was on the danger of collapsing. Modern women nowadays, the old ladysighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end herritual. Modern women nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonderwhy they cannot find it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughteroutside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on herdaughter's face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soilof her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along thehighway, this time not as fast as she had done before.

'Ma,' Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I havebeen talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The propertymarket is good now, and we managed to find a buyer willing to pay seven millionfor it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found aperfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment, we plan to getrid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...'

The old woman nodded knowingly.

Bee Choo swallowed hard. 'We'd get someone to come in to do the housework andwe can eat out - but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look afteryou. You will be awfully lonely at home and besides that, the apartment israther small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and wedecided the best thing for you is if you moved to a home. There's one nearHougang, it's a Christian home, a very nice one.'

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow.

'I've been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful withgardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you,you'd be happier there. You'd be happier there, really.' Her daughter repeatedas if to affirm herself.

This time, the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her froma daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat,letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers traced the white seat.

'Ma?' her daughter asked, searching the rear view mirror for her mother. 'Iseverything okay?'

What had to be done, had to be done. 'Yes,' she said firmly, louder than sheintended. 'If it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.

'It's for you Ma! You'll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow. Ialready got the maid to pack your things,' Elaine said triumphantly, mentallyticking yet another item off her agenda.

'I knew everything would be fine.'

Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her motherwould make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrancein her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now.

She had everything a modern woman ever wanted: money, status, career, love,power and now, freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weighher down - yes, she was free.

Her phone buzzed urgently; she picked it up and read the message, stillbeaming from ear to ear. 'Stocks 10-per-cent increase!' Yes, things weredefinitely beginning to look up for her...

And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her handphonescreen, the old woman in the back seat became invisible, and she did not see thetears.

Sometimes i feel life is really like a roller coaster..
you have had your ups and downs.. sometimes things are not what you expected and sometimes things are not as what you want it to be.
Sometimes things turn out to be very good and some times things are really bad and sometimes you even cant bare with it.
But what can we do?
this is our life, and the best that we can do is live on with it and enjoy it