tOm@kO's life ~*_*~

now is already last hour of the first half of year 2005.
it had been a very exciting year for me
notice that eventually i grew a lot.
knoe a lot of people/friends
have to make a lot of difficult decision.
have to face a lot of problems in life.
have a lot of things that i need to face.

this first half year of 2005 really make me grow a lot
have to learn more to be better in my EQ
use your heart to treat people,
regardless of whether other people would appreciate it.
you would feel really really nice.
if you wanna receive more, just give more of yourself.
do not think my report is very very nice.
cos not everything i did is completely correct or completely right.

got 'yuan wang' by the 'small people' around me.
but whatever happened, i think the most important thing that happened is,
i already put my best for poeple around me.
and have nothing to be regret of.
regardless how poeple say.
i do not really wanna say bad things about other people.
sometimes things you know and you should only keep them inside your heart and let it be.

have a happy 2005 and also looking forward for a more exciting next half 2005.

my parents just back from genting.
initially they ask me to join them.since i never been to genting before.
mayb i've been there before should be before my primary gua.
so i have no memory of me going to genting before.
erm... but also not really really interested in going to genting...

actually i'm long for a trip to penang to eat durian.
haha
nice nice durian, have to ask grandma to get me some of the penang best durian
erm so my target is to go there about next or the week after next.
go penang for a couple of days
meet some friends

my parents do have a nice time at genting.
but my mom say that during their way to genting my dad's car eventually nearly 'boil water'
so they stop the car and wait until the car cool down and continue their journey.
erm...
everything was fine after that.

i do think it's a good choice not following them to genting.
let them enjoy their short trip and also 'second honey moon'
let them enjoy their life a bit live a life without my existance for a few days.
let them forget about me for a few days.

seems to be difficult to wake up in the morning,
cos if i rely on my arlam clock i would end up waking up late.
however, if i rely on myself,
i would end up waking up so early.
now is about 6.45 and i've been up for more than half an hour.

seems that i should have a healthy life if i wanna rely on myself to wake up.
why? cos the alarm clock seemed useless to me already.
it does not wake me up and will not wake me up.
so cham.

uaed to wake up really really early during my secondary time.
have to go to school at about 7 in the morning.
erm...

miss those days.
really really miss those days.
when i'm really really damn hard working.
when i do not have to think so much about how to live my life.

忘掉你像忘掉我 ~~王菲
曲:张国荣 词:林夕 编:Richard Yuen 监:张国荣

想不再回头 又不想错过 想不想之间 着了魔
重逢后 白发后 又怎知道 是恋火
是如何 烧毁我 假使你仍然 认得这个我
不枉我换来 这结果 狂傲地 任性地
为想等你 望清楚 为你疯魔 这样错

* 爱我吗 不恋也恨
等到白头 未染尘
爱我吗 但如何敢问
忘掉你像忘掉我心
# 生死也为情 是否不会有
只得苦恋可永久
明明是没以后
但怎么我 仍牵手
让你减轻 你内疚 #
repeat * #
生也猜不透 死也猜不透 发白透
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just saw faye wong's new compilation album online.
always like faye's canto song cos it's really really very very nice.
remember this song is one of the song in the movie 'bai fa mo nui' by leslie cheung and also lin ching xia.
the liking for faye is slowly slowly accumulated.
is because of my friend?
or just because she is faye and i like her:P
haha
but only one thing to say faye is always the best.

i already dunno what he want
he say dun like me to go so far to work and have to pick me to college everyday.
i ask my bf to pick me up to work.
and what he said?
'why you tell others everything?'
huh? i already plan about it early already wor?
wat's the problem about that?
i seems not able to find the solution to this problem...
seems that i do everything or anything also got problem and also will be wrong?
i'm confused....
i'm really really confused....
i'm blur
i dunno wat to do.
i think i dun reli understand him.
maybe is because of the fear of loosing a daughter?
maybe is the fear of her daughter knowing the wrong people?
maybe is the fear of ....
i cant think of any reasons lur

i'm not happy,
hope that you are just beside me.
yet you seems so near yet so far

hope that you would understand what i mean.
but you seems not catching what i mean.

hope that you are around when i need you.
but you arent there!

told you how i feel.
but you told me you want me to be independent.

you are always against me.
and i feel that i'm helpless
i cannot do anything about it.

wonder whether should i ever listen to you.
wonder should i care.

sometimes i wonder whether the status of boy and gal would ever be even?
sometimes i wonder why we need to be restricted to the old thinking?
sometimes i wonder why people are not improving as the time passes by?

why we are reluctant to changes?
why we are used to the old fashion way of doing things?
why must we locked ourself with the kolot thinking?
why must we restrict our mind to fly free?
why must we restrict our imagination and creativity?
why there must always be an answer for a question?

should there be a question without answer?
should we able to do things without caring what others think about us?
should we not concern about others view, which might restrict our ability to break trough?
should we be changing every second as the time passes by?
should there be improvement in our life as the time passes by?

today is my first day working as a temporary gal.
work? data entry.
and my brain is only the few figures that i key in and nothing other than that.
knows the powerful effect of learning curve.
erm...
i think i would not like to spend hours and hours doing the same thing over and over again lur.
but never mind,
since i only play play only and pass time only, while earning some pocket money.

some ask me very nice cos can work with my bf.
huh we all sit different place leh.
he inside a room enjoy the aircon and music with annother lousy guy (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dun let the fuller know i say him lousy k?)
while i'm sitting outside in the open office.
erm... how come i feel the air con like not no geh? feel so hot.
he is using his laptop and online inside,
while i'm using the big outdated computer.
gosh i miss my flat screen (lcd)at home....
gosh i miss my internet connection at home...
:'(

staying at home should be the best thing to do lur.
regret taking this job?
erm i take it as a challenge for myself la.

today li si's never ending story at 988 is talking about the thief and the police.
the police suspect and know the thief steal something.
everytime the police stop the thief with the bicycle and also two big bag of sand,
and he did not discover what had the thief steal cos the two bad of sand is just normal sand and nothing inside and nothing special.
every few days the police see the thief take the bicycle and two back of sand to a rural village.
the police cannot do anything. because he have not evidence to prove that the thief had stole anything.

after many many years,
after the police retired, the police become neighbour with the thief.
and one night the police and the thief sit down have dinner.
after drinking some bir,
the police asked the theif what had you stolen all these years?

the theif smile and said all the while i stole the bicycle and sell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ponder:-
is it we normally see those small small things like those sand and suspect those little little things?
and we just ignore those most obvious things?
is a good story for us to ponder about.

recommen the program '乐在1102' for all my friends.
every thursday dj 林淑萍.
the story is told by:- 丽思(one of my favourite DJ)
hope you would tune in to it every thursday 11.00pm-2.00am

孩子 曹格
词:文康 曲:张蔚源

给你的思念塞满了箱子 托邮差安全送到你住的地址
你看到我的名字 忍着的眼泪多麽像个脆弱的女子
你的微笑却又像深情的男子 幸福的样子

爱你就像走不好的孩子 相信我可以帮你穿上心爱的鞋子
一路上难免有小小的石子 一点一滴都是一颗种子

慢慢的学习相处的方式 用你的小聪明填上我的无知
你看我双手合十 决定答应你
当你朋友不断问起时 你会得意的聊着我们的故事
快乐的样子

爱你就是为了过好日子 谁叫你已经成了无法改变的事实
只等着听你说一声要开始 我愿为你变成一个孩子

你看我双手合十 决心要为你
为你日夜不断祈祷时
希望生活里周围有你的样子 幸福的样子

爱你就像走不好的孩子 相信我可以帮你穿上心爱的鞋子
一路上难免有小小的石子 一点一滴都是一颗种子

爱你就是为了过好日子 谁叫你已经成了无法改变的事实
只等着听你说一声要开始
我愿为你变成一个孩子
我愿为你变成一个孩子

i was listening to this song online again and again.
first saw the lyrics on wen kang's book
heard this song on the radio station.
found the song really really suits the lyrics
feel sweet. ;)

tidy and tidy and tidy...
making the room in a mess and making it normal balik.
erm... i dun wan back to the old style
i think i want something new?
something fresh
something different
something not the same with the previous feel
something i dunno what is it?
something that would surprise me....

have not been posting anything on my blog lately.
have not been blogging lately.
why?
cos i'm staying at home and packing and arranging all my things together.

things in my room had been messy all the while
a lot of paper and a lot of notes.
a lot of news paper.
and a lot of dust

someone ask me how could i live in such an environment
like pig style...
erm...
wonder
but that's not the important thing for me again.

i always tell myself i would tidy it when i'm free
now...
is the time.
i'm free? but did i really go and tidy it? sometimes i doubt what i'm doing
haha... just home i'm happy gua.

很爱很爱你
作词：施人诚 / 作曲：玉城千春

想为你做件事 让你更快乐的事
好在你的心中埋下我的名字
求时间 趁着你 不注意的时候
悄悄地 把这种子酿成果实

我想她的确是 更适合你的女子
我太不够温柔成熟优雅懂事
如果我 退回到 好朋友的位置
你也就 不再需要为难成这样子

很爱很爱你 所以愿意 舍得让你
往更多幸福的地方飞去
很爱很爱你 只有让你 拥有爱情
我才安心

看着她走向你 那幅画面多美丽
如果我会哭泣也是因为欢喜
地球上 两个人 能相遇不容易
作不成你的情人我仍感激

很爱很爱你 所以愿意 不牵绊你
飞向幸福的地方去
很爱很爱你 只有让你 拥有爱情
我才安心
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
listening to the radio for this music now.
i do believe it sounds crazy to let someone who you love them very very much you would not let them go away just like that.
because love is not for a person to judge whether it is enough or not.
love is for someone to feel about it.
love is a feeling therefore it is intangible.
you could not count it,
you could not see it.
but you could feel its existance.

if you love someone try your best to keep them with you.
however, if their heart is not with you already.
just let them go.
let them search for their happinest.

caroline and me at college last week 

last sunday was father's day and we have had 3 free movie ticket to watch any movie with the star sign on it at any of the tgv cinema.
so dad decided to watch madacasgar.
initially we wanted to go 1U to watch it.
but the movie will only start at 5.30pm.
this would delay our plan a lot.
so we read the paper for other cinema nearby with the suitable time?
then dad decided to go to watch at sunway pyramid.

it should be considered as the first time i go to sunway pyramid.
actually i never been there b4.weird huh?
prior to this i only been there once to have hi tea with my friends.

dunno where is tgv at pyramid and we look all over for the cinema.
when i line up for the movie ticket the screen was blinking for the movie.
it seems that the movie is selling fast.
luckily there is still ticket. but the seats are at the front row and at the side.



after watching two movies consecutively at two different tgv.
found that i really do not like to watch movie at tgv as much as i like to watch movie at gsc.
why?
firstly because the pop corn are more expensive and the coke seems to be smaller in size.
you knoe la accountant sure want value for money service.

the show was a short one.
so when we came out from the cinema, it was still quite early.

mom was wanting to go this vegetarian restaurant for rojak.
cos she was looking forward to eat the rojak.
the restaurant was jus beside the sunway lagoon and there is a place where u can sit down and see how the people playing at the lagoon.

it was the first time for me to try vegetarian dumpling.
before this i never try it before.
the rojak was nice
but everything was expensive.
me and mom shared to belanja dad
why? cos it's fathers day.


it was an enjoyable and meaningful trip for me la...
spending some quality time wit my family

erm...
my cousin sis kena(got selected) for national service next year

my uncle say kena 4D also not so tepat(accurate) ar!

i reli dunno whether this is a good thing or not.
but i do think it is a good thing in the sense that you have a chance to be independent.
without your parents by your side and have to do some good work for the community
i do really agreed that it would be a good mental and physical training
i do reli hope tat i would get a chance to participate?
erm...
i wonder
but i really hope she would gain something from the national service gua.

me and seng joo ar!!!! 

me and hui ling... seems tat i look quiet 'big size' d.... erm have to keep fit la!!! 

jean, joo, me, hui ling and siew heoh 

finally exam is over already....
after so many months of hard work....
but i have no feeling that it is over already.
but whatever will come in the future i'm prepare to take it.
whatever will be will be.

now enjoy my life for the moment
but dunno can enjoy for how long.
because enjoy at an expense at my pocket money will be a very very terrible thing gua

but see watch will come in the future.
regardless of whatever it takes,
just think that,
i should do what is best for people around me
and also what is best for myself.

teckmin (dai lou) the legendary teddy and me. actually dunno why suddenly wanna take photo together? 

ACCA Malaysia helps the public understand tax

1,500 members of the public filled a hall to capacity in Kuala Lumpur on 18 March 2005. The audience listened to a presentation by Dr Choong Kwai Fatt, a lecturer from the University of Malaya, on the newly-implemented self-assessment taxation system.

As part of a community project, 200 ACCA students and affiliates joined Dr Choong and provided help to members of the public having difficulty filling in their income tax details.

Students and affiliates spent over five hours dealing with the attendees, explaining how to fill in the forms and the required documentation. All the students were either studying, or had completed, Paper 3.2, Advanced Taxation. This community project is not only a service to the public, but also an opportunity for students and affiliates to gain practical knowledge. They benefited from hands-on experience of income tax issues, which will better prepare them for future employment in this area.


me.. very far, soo wei and eugene helping to fill up the tax form.

haha... actually i did not know /expect that our picture actually muncul in the acca student accountant

today uncle beng yean was chattng with uncle beng chuan
they were talking about something relating money and the condominium.
actually i feel that later uncle beng chuan was kindda upset because the conversation between him and uncle beng yean.
when uncle beng yean was talking to uncle beng chuan...
when uncle beng chuan cannot stand/listen any more,
he would say you do not use your 'asia works' things on me.

but i think , or it is just my personnal feelings la.
sometimes people around you talking to you,
it is to remind you about the blind spot that you might not be aware about.
if you do not care much about to listen to it.
just ignore it.
no point to be upset about what other poeple think about you.
what's the point of getting up set for something that the person had said and the person might totally forget about it the next hour,
and you might get upset for the whole night, the next day or even the next whole week?

just now i feel a bit upset seeing uncle beng chuan about being down and think a lot about what uncle beng yean had said during the chat after dinner.
i definately don't like the feeling of them like quarelling.
eventough i don't have my own sibilings,
but i do really tresure the relationship of sibilings.

today is 'duan wu jie'
ask joo to fetch me back from the college
and 'sun bian' he can come and grab some dumpling
he said my grandma's dumpling is very very nice.
and i think eating too much of dumpling this few days make me gain a lot of weight.
and my first target after exam is to seriously loose some weight
if not i'll be growing sideways.

the kids come to my computer and play lots and lots of game.
i think i do seriously have to study d.
and after next wed. i'm totally free.
can watch all my favourite show.
and also start the loose weight plan.

原來，是你的終究會回來。
緊捉不放的人，就算再努力也好，不是你的，
就算用盡了所有力氣，也是徒然。

Song : One Moment In Time (Whitney Houston)

Each day I live I want to be
A day to give The best of me
(yeah give my best in my acca examination)
I'm only one But not alone
(a bunch of tar college coursemate sitting exam together wit me on 13,14 and 15 june)
My finest day Is yet unknown
(one of my finest day would be the day i get my acca)
I broke my heart Fought every gain
(loosing my scolarship in the second year of my advanced diploma)
To taste the sweet I face the pain
(besides getting so many c for my exam but yet i manage to pass with a merit)
I rise and fall Yet through it all
This much remains
(i'm sitting for my acca core paper for this 13, 14 and 15 june)

I want one moment in time
(that is 13, 14 and 15 june)
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
(a heartbeat away from getting at least fifty marks each to pass my three core paper)
And the answers are all up to me
(yes all hardwork had been done)

Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
(yes destiny is right in front of me)
(potential future accountant)
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
(eternity... cos do not have to face any exam already?)

I've lived to be The very best
(acca exam is the best professional qualification exam!)
I want it all No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands
(now is the chance for me to pass my core paper in one goal)

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
(it's up to me to do my level best)

Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine
(shine to be a star in acca graduation ceremony)

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free
(free no more exam!!!!)

无印良品
我找你找了好久

可以彼此分享得意骄傲 不担忧谁的心里不是味道
可以传染给你心情不好 连说一个理由都不需要

可以直来直往提醒劝告 就算争吵也都是为对方好
可以和你商量秘密苦恼 不害怕全世界都会知道

我找你找了好久 一个互相了解的朋友
生活有人分享的时候 快乐就变得容易许多

我找你找了好久 一个拿心来换的朋友
伤痛有人抱紧的时候 未来有什么路不敢走

this song specially dedicated to my friend yu yee.
why? cos today is her b'day
why dedicate this song to her? cos this song have a very very special meaning for me.
;) i do hope she knows what i mean. (regardless whether she sees this post or not)

ever since we quarreled and din talk much since then, i always prevent myself from looking backwards,
always ask myself to look forward.

last nite just after mid nite i sent her a sms to wish her happy b'day
just when i tought there would not be any respond from her,
i actually received a sms from her
'tks,my dear fren.so hapy 2receive ur msg.bt,d happiest is our frenshi stil remain..tks'

hmmm... have you have some friends who you din contact them for a long time?
just drop them a sms and you would light up their heart and make their day feel different!

trust me ;)

hui ling wit the snoopy from lay qing, jean and me.... in the picture from left hui ling, lay qing, siew heoh, seng joo and me.... 

jean, joo and me, huiling and siew heoh dunno which camera to look at? 

jean, joo and me and also hui ling and her lovely snoopy from us;) 

me, hui ling, close eyes siew heoh and jean of course 

me, hui ling and the two lovely couple yen yeen and sam 

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

have a bad dream when i wake up this morning
dream that something about joo and me.
weird dream.. and i terus wake up already.

then realised it was already 8am.
nobody wake me up to go to college to study?
huh? how come?
where is my dad?
huh? today is not sunday wor?
how come i'm still at home at this hour?

ha...
just realised that my dad told me last week he will pick his boss worker dunno go where.
he will pick me up later.
erm...
luckily. i remember.
usually when you feel yourself waking up at the wrong side of the bed, you would feel very very blur and sometimes you might wanna scold poeple.
and you have to have very very good EQ management to avoid yourself scolding poeple gua..:P

sometimes i wonder how a gal choose her bf.
is it you have to choose a guy who got car,
and have a good job,
and will give you all those very very expensive gift.
and when he go outing with you, you would have to go places which is very very expensive, and you consider it as high class such as?
k*m g*ry? or even v*ctor*a st*t*on?

wonder how gals would have four eyes when they find the boy friend.
erm maybe is i have too much tought in this lovely nite.

sometimes i wonder about a gal's spending habbit.
on clothes... which is branded... you can use about a thousand just for shopping?
and you tell me you cannot support original books and music?

maybe i have very very bad spending habbit as well.
but i think the way i spending and save the money would be quite different gua...
dunno.
just feel that if i do not agreed with your attitude...
i might not be able share my toughts with you gua.
i dun like poeple who dun care about others' feeling but
they would definately 100% want you to take care of their feelings
and they would have you around like you must help them...

sorry having too much emotion before exam...
remembering got scolded by the someone just because i told him the truth
and how i feel about things.
just do not like people complaining about my attitude.
you can complaint that i'm a lazy person, dirty bug, naughty person or even an evil person.
but please please do not complaint to me that my attitude got problem.
i think i will burst that very moment.
cos i think i would always have a possitive attitude towards life and everything that i would encounter.
but if you told me that my attitude got problem does it means that possitive attitude is wrong?

do really think i'm very very very and extremely straight person.
and like to shoot people. especially those who are closed to me.
haha (sorry to those who are closed to me. you have to get sometimes to prevent being hurt badly by me)
but never mind, i would also invite you to shoot me.
dun really care that much whether it hurts a lot or not.

feel very very bad cos sometimes that things that you like hurt you the deepest.

sometimes is the friend that you trust hurt you the deepest.
heart breaking... why? cos already patah hati and putus asa d.

sometimes is the subject you favour the most, you did it badly
very very badly.

sometimes mayb things that you do not like would help you on the road.
sometimes is good to be neutral and not bias.

keep an open mind for everythings that is going to come
prepare to accept things that is going to come with open arms.

things are gonna be...
to be... will be...

one more week and seems that i did not touch much on 3.6
do hope miricle would happen.
haha
wonder how would it happen.
still sticking myself with the computer and the tv.
do not want myself to sleep too much
just tell myself i would have all the time in the world that i could have to do the things that i like.
i really wonder about it.

i should really motivate myself.
never give up...
acca exam starting 2moro.
but mine is one more week to go.
do hope that i would not panic at the last moment.

one more week. not consider very long.
however,
i would help much if i used it wisely.
do pray for myself, my friends and all my coursemate.
all the best in the exam.

always wonder whether taking a post of printing manager for the course is a correct decision.
always wonder why should i take the post?
from the very first day of the course committee election,
the senior was like saying gals cannot be printing manager since i have no transport and also printing manager would be a very very hectic job for a gal.
and after this two years,
i can proved this saying is rubbish and it also contains some kind of sex discrimination.
remembering the impression on nicholas's face.
saying he do not wanna take the post of course rep.
and he wanna be the printing manager of the course.
and i was scared and worried cos.. last time i would always critic my course's printing manager.
and i was suprised that he actually compromised that the would be the course rep.
remember people telling me that if you do not wanna hold the post there is a lot of other poeple wanted to hold the post.
remembering changing supplier without telling my x-course rep (nick) anything about it.
remembering that he was very very action.... and wanted to go agaist me.
and remembering that he eventually din able to come into our course since his cgpa din acheived the course entry requirement that year.
remembering that nobody wanna become the course rep of the course.
remembering everyone complaining about the course rep not doing anything.
remembering course rep and treasurer complaining me about my attitude to my friend the assistant course rep.
remembering i do not need their (course rep, assistant course rep and treasurer )help but i really been help by all the class rep a lot and a lot.
remembering miss chin ask me not to put too much effort on the course matter.
remembering miss karen told me that my over all paper was quite good.
remembering the concern on the lecture's face.
remembering my life in tar college as a printing manager in two years of my advanced diploma.