tOm@kO's life ~*_*~

just realised that me and joo just rarely take photo together.
i just wonder why?

other couple would like to take picture together regardless of where they go.
and i just seems to realised that we rarely and hardly ever take photo together.

why?
should i post this question to him?
or should i post this question to myself.

is it because i'm too busy taking other poeple's picture?
or he never thinks that there is a necessity that we need to take picture together?

i wonder why and wonder how?
how should i express to him i really want us to really take picture together so that i can have a picture to show to others saying oh.. this is my bf?

herm..
sometimes i kindda hate chinese new year.
why?
because i hate being asked a few question.
do you have a boy friend?
when are you going to settle down?
how is your boy friend ar?

huh?
is those question make a different in your live if i really answer yes or no?
because you need to prepare ang pow if i got plans to get married this year?
come on...
i just started my courier.
the world is just to big for me to swim.
i just wanna see more things and blog more in this blog...
to me.. i think it's not the time yet.

what does freedom with a responsibilty means to you?

i'm pondering about it now.

today is the second day of the chinese new year.
went to visit two relative and it serves as an eye opener for today.

the first relative is my nanny aka my grandma's sister.
she is the one who take care of me when i was still a little gal.
it seems that other than chinese new year day,
we are just lack of contact and did not see each other than much and
i just feel that the relationship is not as close as previously.

her daughter works as a tax manager with a multi national company based in S'pore.
trough the conversation with her today
i realised that there is a deep sea out there for me to swim with.
i must work very very hard to lay out my foundation and
start to realised how things are work out and not just
draw out the proposal on the paper.

i have to realised that sometimes when you think on the paper the things might not actually work in reality.
on the other hand a lot of work need to be done.
such as understand the client's business and understand what is the industry requirement.
and i would work my way towards the aim of serving my client better.

annother relative is my mom's uncle.
he just got strok last year.
and this year he already have to stay at the old folks home.
i just pray that i would treat all my parents and grand parents better and they would not ill treat themself
and they would take care of themself
so that they would not have to stay in the old folks home in the future.

to me it seems like poeple who are staying at the old folks home are very very pityful.
they are just a bunch of old people who are sick and thier kids whom they brought them up with all thier hard work send them there with the excuse of not being able to take care of them and no time to take care of them.

last year when we visit my mom's uncle,
he was still a very very healthy person.
and now he had to stay at the old folks home.
and god took away his smile.
and god make half of his body parrelised.

so i just wanna pray very hard so that this does not happened to anyone who is close to me.
hope they are healty all the way.

first of all wanna wish everyone happy chinese new year.

then... cham lur.. since i've started working..
my chinese new year ang pow from all the uncles
'strink water' d lo...
tat's a very very terrible news for me..
since my yearly extra ordinary income had decrease d...
and there is no annual bonus from the company yet since i only started working for less than a year. and bonus will have to wait until july leh...
terrible news for me..
ai... just let me forget about it lur...

my chinese new year resolution is to be promoted to senior 2 by this year during june or april's evaluation.
why i'm so eger to get promoted?
yes i'm desperate for promotion
since i have to be promoted in order for the firm to pay for me for my annual subscription for the professional qualification of acca.

it would be a burden to me currently, since my pay is not so high and to pay the subsription would covers about half of my salary lur...

i'll work my ass up to achive my target this year..
and i would like to achive annother target of being able to drive to work by mid of this year.

today i went home at about 9.30pm...
it's not because it is very peak period and i have to OT until 9.00 pm.
it is just because a lot of are doing last minute shoping lo...

a lot of people going to 1u and the curve and tesco to do their last minute shopping.
chinese new year is a season of spending money and sharing the happinest with each other

all the while i have not been earning any money.. and all the while cny is the time for my dad to spend his money to buy things for others.

erm... because of chinese new year i think i've almost spend all of my salary buying this and that. the most i spend on is buying my clothes and also drinks

this year i bought 100 plus and coke light yeos kek hua and also rebina...
you can request for chinese tea as well..
but too bad there is only the 'wang wang' biscut that i bought for chinese new year.
i'm wondering whether i should go and buy the 'nga gu' since my friends are coming over to my house during chinese new year.

erm.. cny mood is coming...
wondering i should post some cny song on my blog during the cny?
haha...

yeah this is the time i feel chinese new year is coming...
i love chinese new year...
and guys.. and gals.. enjoy your chinese new year lo..

next month will be a new milestone in my career.
why? i would be having my confirmation that my work performance is up to satisfactory level.

annother bonus on top of the the confirmation is my promotion.
hehehe... i'm promoted up a level as tax semi-senior...
i think that was quiet fast for someone who is new and not very experience in tax.

i think attitude towards doing things would play an important part in doing things.
ability to admit what you have done wrongly is the main point in the career path.

i'm a bit surprise that i was promoted as such a fast pase...
but i think i would want myself to remain humble.
and keep the heart of willing to learn all the time.
and also respect my two senior even they are still at the same position when they come into the company.
but i jus feel weird that promoted but cannot tell anyone
hahaah
except my GL, Senior tax manager and Director know about it.

You Should Be A Libra

What's good about you: A total charmer, you easily find friends and allies What's bad about you: You have a secret side that's easily confused and depressed In love: you enjoy flirting, dating, and the whole process of falling for someone In friendship, you're: very social ... you rather be with your friends than be alone Your ideal job: fashion designer, makeup artist, or song writer Your sense of fashion: very feminine / masculine (depending on your gender) You like to pig out on: sweet stuff like ice cream and french toast

eh... shouldn't this be goh joo joo's star sign? herm.....

sometimes i wonder whether you would feel that you are disturb by people who drink their coffee or milo in a very loud manner like they would sound 'shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuup' everytime they drink their coffee or milo.

i think that is very rude to the colleague who are sitting together with you in the same group.
and i think that really disturb the working mood for myself.

sometimes i wonder how come you have so much time to go and make coffee and you can drink the coffee about 3-4 times a day.
i know the coffee of the company is free but.. don't you think that is kindda too over for you to utilsed the company's benefit.
mayb about 8 and a half hour working half hour you spend it drinking and making your coffee?
erm.. i think that is not productive and not professional at all.

i wanted to sound the fuller.
however i think i would not.
why?
because first and foremost he is my senior.
and secondly he is a guy..
it's bad for a gal to 'tegur' the guy in front of a lot of people.
i never understand about this concept.
because i think gal and boy is indifference.
however in reality yes there is difference.
even we are talking about gal and boy should be having the equal right nowadays.
i would think that the perception as guy would wanna maintain their 'air muka' is always very clearly stated in thier mind.

so now i'm a bit better in the sense that i would not say anything in front of the guy in front of many poeple...
instead i just post it into my rubbish + bull shit blog...
so .. sorry for those who are reading and you have read annother bull shit post...

have you ever think that blogging is actually a very open stuff?
meaning that anyone who have internet access would be able to read whatever rubbish you have posted on your blog if they 'accidentally' or intentionally bump into your blog.

have you ever complaint about others in your blog and you wonder whether they would be so 'hou choy' and bump into your blog and see what you are 'bull shitting' inside your blog?

erm... no worries.. if someday somebody come and tell you i've read your blog...
i agreed with what you think and this and that.
ha... imagining again.

however i feel that blogging is in between of wanting to be disclosed or do not what to disclose what you feel and think.

something there are dark secret that you would not be willing to tell anyone so you would not be blogging it out in your own blog.

however what i like about the blog is the feeling of sharing your thoughts and knowing that someone out there would spend their precious time to read your 'bull shit'

at the same time blogging also helps me to train myself to write and write and 'bull shit' all the way. mayb this is one of my secret of getting my acca at one go...
hahaha....

annother thing i wanted to talk about blogging is that helps me release my stress. enble me to do complaint as 'terible' as i could.
haha...

oops... just realised that i've complaint about my two senior and my boss knows about it? huh 'blink blink with innocent eyes'

erm... i have nothing to say for what i've written inside the blog here.
because sometimes it's just pure 'bull shit' and i would not be held responsible for what i've blog here...

thanks and best regards...
owner of this 'bull shit' blog....
t0m@k0

2006年了，今年過得很快，也很慢。
身邊的人拿著啤酒罐笑著鬧著，異常擁擠的松仁路，真像逃難一樣。
嘿，人是不是不群聚在一起，就會感到不安呢？
在任何一個特別的日子，就會需要某人陪伴，
讓自己不至於被特別的喧囂所淹沒，讓自己也融入特別的氣氛裡......

忘記哪一年看過一本漫畫
有個女孩說，聖誕節和情人節都是一種商業陰謀。
啊，我好想認同但又覺得認同的人祇是偏激 XD

有人也這樣覺得嗎？哈哈。
總之，2006新年快樂。

======================
the above post was taken from cao ge's blog...
haha.. now in the heat of promoting a good malaysian singer..
so please go and visit his blog...
and if can...
please support him and get his new album...
of course i would get mine when i get my CNY ang pow money..
so wish me luck so that i would be able to get more ang pow and fill my cd collection during this chinese new year.

Superwoman

Early in the morning, I put breakfast at your table
一夜都沒睡但我　不曾如此清醒
我早餐準備了妳　愛吃的東西
這次換我等妳被咖啡　的香味叫醒

想要找回每天早晨　對我微笑著的妳
還能夠　做些什麼代替我的歉意
總是望著我　小心翼翼順著我呼吸
而我竟然理所當然　讓妳精疲力盡

You were my superwoman
安靜的在身邊　無條件給我　夢寐以求的溫柔
But I am only human
我怎麼不懂妳多寂寞 殘忍的犯了錯
不能失去妳 Ooh—Babe---

You fought your way through the rush hour
Try to make it home just for me
月光下靜靜靠著彼此　只求夜長一點
有多久沒有好好看妳　只是認定了我
無論在什麼時候回頭　都有妳的笑容

是我忽略了妳也會有　想要哭的感覺
沒有一種付出應該永遠心甘情願
再給被寵壞的男人最後一次機會
換我忍耐換我等待　不要真的棄權

(---Baby)是我把愛想得太簡單
以為只要我存在就能讓妳取暖
心裏唯一的superwoman沒有人能代替
不能想像更不能原諒這樣讓愛化成　灰燼

If you feel it in your heart and you understand me.
STOP right where you are, everybody sing along with me.
==============================

i've been searching for this lyrics for about whole day and today...
erm.. finally i got bump into the site..
they called it the garyblue blog.
i'm not sure whether it belongs to gary or not..
however i think good things should be shared out so that more people know about it.
and malaysian singer should be given more support so that they could fly higher in the huge world of the music industry.
so enable me to lead you to gary's blog.
====>
GaryBlue

You Are 20 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

oh currently i'm in my 20's... haha a few years younger than my actual age and
yeah i'm a bit younger than jessy (hahaha =P pls dun get mad wit me k)
erm... hope can keep this 20's age for about 10 years and see what i can do in the future.

i have yet to set my resolution for the year and also my aim and goals for the year.

actually i also lost my aim and goals after i came out to work
not knowing actually what i want for my future and what i should expect of my future.

okay now i just simply set a few goals and see what i would be able to do with it.

1. get first 5 in the coming tax traing for the company.
2. help our my group leader and try to get as much exposure as possible.
3. be a more open person and try to know more people in the future.
4. try to control my weight and work out during weekend
5. continue blogging
6. learn how to drive by end of this year
7. buy and read more books especaily english books
8. maintain a good relationship with my family especially my parents
9. get a promotion during the year.
10.treat myself better

my working speed is getting worst by the days.
not doing anything that is productive.

actually i feel sorry for myself since i have my personal problem to affect my working mood and performance.
and i would ensure that i would not repeat this mistake again in the future.

actually my group leader treat me very very good because she give me a lot of rare cases in the sense that i'm able to touch the various side of taxation.
however i have yet to touch the Expatriate part of tax since most of our clients are malaysian company.
and i have yet touch and start with the gst part of the taxation.
i think that i'm in the mist of whether to continue to stay in the group or just join the gst group as planned.

i think self exposure rather than the benefit of the group which is more improtant.

seeing that the team is not so strong i wonder whether i should really cabut to annother group or just to stay back and work together with my group leader and help her out on things that she need my help.

it seems that there is not very very heavy chinese new year mood this year.
i'm trying my best to keep my budget to get some nice clothing for chinese new year.

so far for the moment i already get 4 piece of clothing.
first is the white polo tee which cost me about RM 24.50 after discount which is bought from the PADINI concept store in IKANO

and the second and third is a set of clothing from GIORDANO which cost RM 25.20 and RM 55.30 after discount. which i get from the shope located near the sungai wang. that is one of the GIORDANO shop which you can get very very complete collection and you can get what you want easier than other GIORDANO shop.

and the current last clothing is a 3/4 long sleeve tee from PADINI concept store at IKANO which cost me about RM 31.20 after dicount.

and there is one tee which i bought from ROMP which i still have not wear it b4 so this 'stock' can be brought forward to this year

so now for the moment i already bought a lot of top and just left the skirt or pants which i need to buy for this coming new year.

and i would like to keep my budget as minimum as possible.
however the thing which i'm headache about is i have not enough time to get all the things i need b4 chinese new year.
luckily there is a lot of holiday this month.

i like to read others blog and also blog at the same time.
the reason behind loving to blog is i can express my feelings and release thing that i feel most of us are very stressful and sometimes we do not notice what is the best media for us to express what we think and feel.

the reason behind love to read others blog is i'm able to update myself with other's information without having to ask them.
and reading make u able to imagine and visualise how the things happened..
hahaha.. i like reading the blog because i can imagine how the things happened...

and sometimes you can communicate with each other for what you think and
get feedback from others.

baby不要再哭泣
这一幕多么熟悉
紧握着你的手彼此都舍不得分离
每一次想开口但不如保持安静
给我一分钟专心
好好欣赏你的美

幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
还欠你的我不能给
别把我心也带走
去跟随

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀

每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

幸福搭配悲伤
痛是在我心交叉
挫折的眼泪不能测试爱的重量
付出的爱收不回
但欠你的我不能给
我才明白爱最真实的滋味

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀

每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

每一次和你分开
深深的被你打败
每一次放弃你的温柔
痛苦难以释怀

每一次和你分开
每一次kiss you goodbye
爱情的滋味此刻我终于最明白

my blog's name is 'this is my life'

and what i wanna say sometimes i almost forget that this is really my life.
because i just have the feeling of under the influence / control of other people for so many years.
and i just forget or i did not learn how to live my own life.
and live my life for myself.

have been the person who my parents and all the relative want me to be for too long d
living under their expectation for too long and i almost forget what i my deepest needs and what i want the most in my life.

jus realised that by being the person who they want me to be for such a long time i have lost myself.
lost the true identity of myself and miss out a lot of things which i wish to complete within my life time.

just feel that now i have to live my life for myself and
if it is to be it is up to me.
and i would try to find a balance between the person everyone hoping me to be and the person i want to be.

sometimes i really wonder for myself whether i should be the person who listen to what my parents say and just ignore what i really want deep in my heart.
or just ignore them and do whatever i wanna do and just let it be.

my executive director and senior tax manager

my group leader and me during the annual dinner